Best Appt So Far!!!

We heard the best news ever today - chemo is NOT in my future! We beat the odds. We were told that I had a 90% chance of chemo treatment and after full evaluation of the pathology report, Dr. Anderson concluded that chemo treatments would not help me in any way. So, I'm DONE. Of course I still have to recover from the surgery but otherwise, I'm done! I'm done!! I'm a survivor - an official survivor. Cancer is gone from my body!!!!!!

There is the smallest of small chances that this could turn around, but no one expects it to be the case. Pathologists are looking at the specimen one more time to look for invasive cells but it's not expected they will find anything. My long term plan is to continue to be diligent about screening and to embrace healthy living. I also need to do the BRCA mutation test - which happens Sept. 2 (then takes a few weeks for results). If that should come up positive, I'd need to have one more surgery likely. But lets not think about that for a while.

I also saw my plastic surgeon today. Turns out, I can't pick up Channing for another couple of weeks. So I still need lots of help but according to him things are healing well. So we wait. We wait 3-4 weeks and see him again for a final check. We wait for the genetics test. And we wait for me to just feel better. I tire very easy and I'm very sore still - keeping up on the pain meds for sure. Other than that, I'm free.

Scott and I couldn't be happier. Once again, I feel so lucky. Wow.

Who's training for Race for a Cure? Mid September I think!

What's that smell??

Today's appointment did not offer the information we were hoping for, but I'm happy to report that all drains/tubes/wires/etc are OUT of my body! Scott and I saw Dr. Johnson today and were thrilled to hear I got to get my drains out. She started by unwrapping all the gauze etc and said things look good. For the record, I still haven't 'looked down' much. I just can't handle it quite yet. She then started untaping the wires and just kept pulling. Those wires were about 12 inches inside my skin. GROSS. And that is when the tears started. It hurt a little and I just couldn't deal. Of note, I was due pain meds and didn't bring them because I didn't expect the appt to take so long. We waited a full hour before we even saw the doctor. Oh well. At that point, I asked to lay down. Another doctor came in to do the drains. The right side was so incredibly painful. It was clogged and attached in multiple places so pulling it out was torture. I cried through the whole thing. Then all the blood and ooze started (sorry... kind of gross I guess). Anyways, once that one was under control we did the left side. Thankfully, that side was quite easy and we were done. Both Scott and I were so close to passing out (for real) we had to sit and wait a bit before standing up.

Regarding the pathology, we learned there were still several unanswered questions. We don't know the extent of the microinvasive cells. We did learn however that there was cancer all over the left side. During surgery however, Dr. Johnson got great margins so it's all out. We also didn't learn about the hormone receptors (remember - if I'm triple negative it means chemo). So we wait. Dr. Johnson put in a call to the pathologists to learn more. And I'll get those results from my oncologist. I now officially have an oncologist - Dr. Anderson. I see him tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully at that appointment we'll learn what the plan is. Dr. Johnson mentioned I may need 'a little' chemo. Hmm. What is 'a little'??? No idea. Cross fingers for tomorrow that we get some real answers.

I'm also seeing the plastic surgeon tomorrow to make sure things are looking ok from a cosmetic point of view. So a busy day ahead.

And did I mention - it has been SEVEN DAYS since I last showered. And trust me, I smell like it. But tomorrow.. yes TOMORROW morning I will shower. Yes I will people! The stentch looming over Lake Oswego since the Sunday will soon disappear. Yee-Hah!!!!

This one is for you!

Today is the 3rd day that has required full time help around the house and it's impossible to give enough thanks to both "the ladies of Zivney Lane" (also known as my mom and 'aunt' Jill) and to Carol. These women have put in 12 hour days to ensure my comfort and that of my family. They have done more around here in the last few days than I have over the last year. My floors have never been so clean and my laundry basket has never (in history) been empty for quite so long. They bring me meals in bed, they wash my hair, they empty drains (yuck) and they do it all with smiles (even when I'm not being the best patient I can be). So thank you!! You are making this so much easier. I love you Carol, Mom & Jill!

I also have to recognize the food. If you know me at all, you know I don't cook. I don't particularly enjoy cooking and I'm certainly not good at it. Over the last several days we've seen such love poured into the meals that have been delivered. I'm eating more and more myself each and and my caregivers, husband and children are cursing the amount of great food around (all while nibbling on just one more cookie). :) So thank you. The meals are a HUGE help.

Lastly, I'm humbled by the kind words, thoughts, support, flowers, visits, etc that so many of you have given. It's clear that I'm REALLY good at picking friends because you are all the best. Really. Take a bow. You don't know how much it means each time I read a comment, listen to a voicemail, read a card or feel the love you have all given. Please know that I'm super behind in email but I'm appreciative of each of you. You are really keeping my spirits high!

As for me.. I had another good day. I'm feeling stronger by the hour. This morning I was able to feed Channing a bottle and get my hair washed all before a morning visit from a great friend. It was wonderful. At that point, I was a bit worn out so took a short rest.. well, I meant to rest but somehow got sucked into watching an episode of 'Gene Simmons Family Jewels'. Wow I'm a loser. Then, I took another 'bath' (meaning I tried using a washcloth to remove the stink from my body - - not super successful) then off to an appointment with my plastic surgeon. I was so excited to get the bandages off and get one set of tubes out of my chest. The bad news was that I wasn't feeling well - I was again sick to my stomach and needed more pain meds (which I couldn't have for another hour). But, I poured myself into the car with Scott and were on our way. When we had just about arrived, I got a call that Dr. Popowich was still in surgery and wouldn't be back today. ERRRR!!!! I was so mad/frustrated. I broke down crying and tried to ask questions regarding how/if/when I can get my bandages off and how to get these darn wires out of my body. She said I could take off the outer wrap. Since we were already in the parking lot at this point, Scott went in to inquire about how to appeal my insurance company since they had declined my reconstruction surgery. I know, nice, right. It's a federal law that they have to pay but why not just decline for fun. Anyways, Scott also shared his lack of appreciation for more notice about the cancelled appt while I waited and cried in the car. The good news, he learned he could just cut the wires off and we could have Dr. Johnson remove them in the morning (9:45 appt Thurs).

So that was my day. I got home, rested and then relieved our help and spent the evening with just Scott and the kids. It felt like so long since it's just been us and it felt great. I fed Channing another bottle, got her in her jammies and snuggled before Scott put her in bed. Just perfect. Things are getting better!! Oh, I also took off the outer wrap but couldn't take of the mounds of gauze that has me wrapped tight. I'm just to wimpy about medical stuff and I nearly passed out when I saw just a smidge of my incision. Good thing I didn't ever think becoming a doctor would be a good idea. Jeez! So the mystery remains of what things look like under there. I am more comfortable however and Scott snipped off those darn wires. Wheh, releif!!

Tomorrow, I'm hoping to learn about the pathology from the surgery. Lets hope I actually get to see her!!

I'm Back

My darling husband has said he's officially 'out of material' and so the blogging role has landed back in my hands. It was nice while it lasted! And for the record, I did finally watch True Blood. It took me 2 days and about 8 tries before I watched the whole one-hour show. Who knew that tv would take so much out of you. Jeez.

Well, I'm day 4 post surgery and I really thought I'd be doing better at this point. I'm frustrated that I'm pretty much useless and stuck in bed all the time. Without the generous support from friends and family I'm not sure where we'd be. So thank you. I can't express enough how much everything means. The food, the babysitting, the help with medical stuff, the washing of my hair, etc. It means SO much.

I'm still wrapped up super tight in bandages which will come off at an appointment tomorrow afternoon. The doctor will also remove the tubes/wires that are bringing pain meds right to my chest. The drains (one on each side) will remain for a while longer. But getting the pain meds off will help.

I did get my hair washed a few days ago and I'm super anxious to do that again tomorrow. I can't officially shower until the drains are out but washing my hair and just washing up in the sink helps. I still feel icky.

I guess I don't have a ton to say. This is much harder than I expected. I'm in pain more and the vomiting was a bit of a surprise (not the good kind either!). I do recognize that each day I'm feeling better and better. Today for example I could watch tv without it making me sick. It's the little things.. :)

I'll write more tomorrow - time for more paid meds!

Home

Becky came home today at about noon. She was probably doing a lot better yesterday than today. She is still occasionally nauseous and the pain is pretty hard to suppress. She has zero energy most of the time. When she does give you some moments of lucidness they are followed by long rests. She has a temperature and headache presumably caused by the trauma and the narcotics respectively.

The boys did not see her in the hospital so Sunday is the first time their mom since they went to bed Thursday night. They were very cognisant of her pain and while very excited to see her didn't really need much instruction about how to stay away from her. They are being very responsible little caregivers. I hope it lasts.

Keaton is very interested in every detail of her condition. His mom certainly came home with lots of interesting stuff attached to her that he of course needed to ask about 32 different ways like a 4 year old does. Beyond the bandages she has multiple visible tubes that I thought would scare them but they just think it's interesting. Two tubes are for a constant drip of drugs into the chest the other tubes are to keep the swelling down.

We just happened to have some overlap with the grandparents right at the time Becky came home which happened to be very lucky. We needed a lot of hands to get Becky set up and handle three kids in various states of excitement, hunger and exhaustion. I tried hard to convince Becky that we needed these pillows with arms that my grandma had so she could be more comfortable like the hospital bed. There wont be another time that I can buy those and not feel like a completely lazy bum.

For the record unconscious Becky means no reality shows or vampire shows. The wonders of pharmaceuticals never cease to amaze.

12 hours after check in

I always find it funny people that otherwise wouldn't use social media show pictures of the view from their Hawaiian hotel room to make everybody at home jealous. This is the view Becky has booked herself for the weekend. You don't want to know what you have to give up to get a reservation though.

She has pretty much been out of it since she was brought out of post op step down. She is in a lot of pain and on a lot of drugs. She typically doesn't do well with pain medication and today is no different she is very nauseous so they are on the third drug for that (all intravenous for those of you who know how happy she is to prescribe the other kind to everybody but herself). This one looks to have worked or put her in a coma it's still unclear at this point.

As for what we know from the surgery. All of the sentinel nodes were negative which is a big plus. We still need to know more about the tissue pathology which probably wont be for a couple of days. (Lisa K. fill in tissue joke here). Prior to surgery the chances of chemo were 90%. We are hoping that the tissue isn't too bad and she avoids chemo but that might be a pipe dream. There is more to it than that and with Becky out like a light the person I usually ask is available. On the bright side if she's out like this for a couple more days I won't have to watch True Blood.

Becky is out of surgery and in her room. She's completely conked out. I'll update again once she can talk a little more.